Thursday, July 23, 2015

Life - a path to discover

Where will the road of life take you?

"Life isn't about finding yourself,
it's about creating yourself."
- George Bernard Shaw

 This quote inspired today's blogpost. This quote has kind of changed my point of view on life, actually. Simply because it made me adjust my goals, my thoughts, just a little.

We all say that we need to find what we love, that we need to find what's really meant for us and what to do with our lives.
To become a singer, a writer, a doctor, an engineer - whatever you can think of.
Basically we're saying that we're looking for an already laid out path possibly made by faith or God - whatever you believe in - to follow and meanwhile hoping that our true selves will come to us naturally. We are already gifted with quite some qualities from our parents so we kind of have an idea of who we are and the rest will just come when the time is right. We believe that once we've found it, we'll know.
Nice thought, but lets get back to reality.
Because in reality this is not how it works, how hard you may believe in it. In reality you start out with a blank canvas. Yes, you may have inherited quite some qualities from your parents, but with those qualities you're never able to say how you will turn out as a person. They don't decide what you love and are capable of - they can't tell what you should be looking for and what you want. Only you can.
But sometimes you do follow these thoughts, because people make these boundaries for you, judging by your origin or gender or your parents - most times your parents themselves do this, other times other people. But if you keep on thinking this way, you won't ever find what you're looking for. You won't be yourself, whoever that may be.

Now don't get me wrong - these people might now what they're talking about. They've probably walked around this world for quite some time and in that time they've made quite some mistakes and they've learned from them. They want to protect you and guide you and that's okay. But you can't let them do the living for you.
You can't let this influence your judgement - you can't always let them decide what's best for you. You can't let them create you.
One day you have to step out of that box and walk the road of life on your own.
One day you have to start to create. On your own.

We're all unique - every set of genes is different in maybe the tiniest or the biggest ways, but some of these genes might come from your father or mother specifically. Your sibling can have some of these genes too. So, yes, you might have something in common.
But since there are also differences - big or small.
Therefore, once again, we're unique.
But having something common isn't always inside the family. Sometimes it's outside it.
Sometimes you may find that someone is so much like you or you're so much like someone else. Is your uniqueness fading away? Would it be better to live in that box again? Do people have the right to make boundaries for you? Are you already living by them?
As soon as you step out of that box and walk down the road of life on your own, you're going to meet so many different people and you will definitely take some bits and pieces of those people. Whether they make you a better you or a worse you.
You're copying. And that doesn't have to be a bad thing, because most times you gradually start to do something else.
You're starting to create. You're putting colour on that blank canvas of yours. And sometimes other paintings might have been created by the same brushes and colours.
But they're not the same.

So tell me, how are you going to find something or someone that isn't there yet? That is yet to be created?
There's no finding yourself, because there's nothing to find - there's only to discover.
You'll discover so many things that you might hate or love and this makes you you. You'll never be prepared for what will come after the next turn on the road. Maybe you're going to like this part, maybe it's awful, maybe it's so empty that it bores you. 
You create an opinion, you create taste, you create hobbies and yes, this might be the same as your parents or somebody else, but still: you decided it should be yours, too.
You discovered that you felt the same way about it.

Because we're always discovering these new things and because we're always copying people and making those copies our own, we change a lot throughout life. 
The boy or girl you were when you were four is possibly different from who you are now. The man or woman who's yet to come can also be someone completely different from who you are now. Because in those moments we thought we should be that person, that version of ourselves, because it seemed right back then. In those moments we had this taste and this opinion. Like for example: when I was younger I really loved the colour pink and later on I started to hate it and right now I embrace every single colour - all of them have some kind of beauty, though I do have my favorites. And why did my opinion change? Because I decided I agreed with other opinions, I decided that I wasn't going to to be picky and miss out on the beauty of every colour (even though some colours are more beautiful than others).
And how tiny and unnecessary this change may seem, it does prove that you don't stick to one opinion. You don't stick to one you. You always, always, change into a different you.
You're always creating.

What I'm basically trying to say is: life is a path to discover. An already laid out path only exists in the minds of the others, but not in yours. If you're going to look for that path, for yourself, for something, you won't find it, not even by asking the others. 
You're going to search for a path, for something, for someone that isn't there and isn't going to be there, not even at the end of the road. Your canvas will turn blank, even if you pour colours on it.
But by discovering and copying you can shine some light on that dark path and put some colour on your canvas that will stay.
You can create.
And then, only then, you'll figure out what will be at the end of the road. Even though you change as a person you don't become someone else - if you do then you did something wrong in the creating-process. There is always a part of you - big or small - that remains. A part that you once created and fell in love with and relied upon. Your heart, your inner guide - your true self.
So stop looking for something, for yourself and go, create that something, create yourself! 

P.S. So! That was eh... inspiring? Deep? Weird, perhaps?
Sometimes I'm surprised by what I have to say, sometimes even ashamed... I even find it scary to put out some of my thoughts on the internet for everyone to see, but then I remind myself of the fact that it's just a thought. Not everyone will agree, but some might need it. And maybe I need it.
But I'm NO professional, I don't know much about life (I'm still a teenager, hehe...), but I just thought I'd share this thought with you. Maybe you can do something with it - I don't know.
Until the next blogpost, then! :) 

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