Chapter 8: La La La
“You should finish your tea.”
I nodded and put the cup against my lips.
I almost groaned. Man, that’s really delicious. Warm, creamy—wooowww.
“Oh my god,” I whispered and I gulped down the rest of it.
I burped a little. Aandd she had been watching me. Great.
I put up my goofy smile. “Hehe…I really liked the tea.”
“Yes,” she giggled a little. “I’m glad you like it.”
She took the cup from me and stood there a bit awkwardly. She moved her mouth, opened it like she wanted to tell me something. Where was the girl who was talking all wise and stuff – gee, she could become an actress like that.
She’d be a very convincing actress. Really convincing. Wow – so convincing.
I mean, she suddenly turned into a shy girl before me: struggling to find words to say, wiggling her toes, toying with her hands. And did I just turn into the confident hostess who had probably saved some girl of the streets, asking her uncomfortable questions?
This all in just seconds – without me knowing that it had happened, until now, which made me realize…I’m acting like an ass by not saying something myself.
What were you actually supposed to say in these awkward moments of silence? I mean…I could just bombard her with a trillion questions about this world and how to get out of here – but that would seem rude and probably get me killed (It may not be wise to have faith in my movie-knowledge, but that’s why I’m doing the exact opposite of what people do in movies. At least, that is what I’m doing, right? Why have I brought myself in a movie-like position? I’m definitely a goner now—Okay let’s get this over with, Quinn)
I looked at her again and I just had this feeling – my instinct was going crazy about repaying her kindness. She’s not bad, she’s not bad – you can trust her! it screamed, treat her with kindness.
Most of the times my instinct is just one big idiot, but I felt like listening to it this time.
I mean, she might be an asshole like that damned dwarf or that guy on the horse, but at least this asshole made me feel safe. And now suddenly this feels like a very wrong idea – isn’t there like “quit- button” that I can push, so that I can get to this later? Can I at least get some hint-coins (Professor Layton, save me)?
But either way – though my reasoning sounded like that of the biggest idiot in the world – I just can’t foresee everything…I really can’t, Quinn, accept that.
I can’t be prepared for everything.
So…I might as well try to…make a friend, I guess?
“So…,” I started. “Uhm,” I continued.
“Would you…Would you like to sit next to me?” I finished, while I screamed in my head: WHAT THE HELL AM I SAYING?!
But she lit up and smiled that warm smile of hers again.
“Yes,” she said. “I’d really like that.”
She quickly put the cups in her hands down somewhere and came to sit next to me on her bed.
“So…,” I began again, “Lullaby, was it?”
She nodded and turned her head a bit to look me straight in the eyes. Really, she liked to look people straight in the eye. Pinning them down. Not at all unnerving them.
I sighed, quietly. Well, apparently not that quietly, because her eyebrows shot up and she tilted her head. “What’s bothering you?”
“No, no, no!” I shook my head violently, “it’s just…eh…” you’re just way too pretty and you have this way of looking into my eyes with this unnerving thing to it. It’s a good thing, though, because you’re not creepy at all, just way too pretty – wait, I already said that. Oh god, I’m really messing this up, hehe, uhm—
But I just said: “You’re just…really pretty.”
Her cheeks turned red – no seriously, though, there were actual red dots on her cheeks.
She laughed, you know, like you do when you feel embarrassed and all.
I laughed a bit, too. And I was sure I was as red as a tomato.
“I will never be as pretty as you, though.”
Now it was my turn to raise my eyebrows and tilt my head. “Whaa— Gee,” I laughed nervously, “thanks, haha.”
I laughed a bit harder. Just wow—was she serious? I can’t take this—I looked at her face, which looked confused: O my god, she is being serious!
“What?” she grinned and laughed, “It’s true!
“You are the kind of beautiful that is so rare in this world! So very beautiful, Quinn – there is no one in this world that could become ever something like that.” And she meant every word. I could hear it, feel it even.
It was hilarious how much she meant it.
And her eyes…Those golden pools were shining with honesty (it even made me feel going all poetic)
I grew silent.
“Quinn,” she said in all seriousness – she even grabbed my hand, as if that what she was about to say must be forever printed on my eardrums so that I’d hear it over and over again…come to think of it, that sounds just ridiculous: why would something printed, tattooed on my eardrum make me hear it over and over again? She was probably hoping for the sound waves to shake forever in my ear canals? I can’t remember the word and…excuse me, what was she actually going to say?
Right, she told me this:
“Never forget how beautiful you are.”
Yeah, that really got me even more confused than before. I didn’t know if I should’ve felt happy, delighted or threatened. Her golden eyes got something scary and maybe it was because she was so serious and I was too goofy that it surprised me, but I just felt the feelings of safety and wow – motherly love? She was really something! – but that was fading away now.
I suppose this was her next transformation and probably her last – oh, I really didn’t like the sound of that. She was probably going to turn into some green-eyed monster (no, wait that’s a metaphor for jealousy, right? Waah, I’m so confused that I can’t keep my metaphors straight!)
But in all seriousness – Quinn, drop that comfy attitude and get critical, because this chick ain’t what she seems. I think. I got no clue, actually.
I started to frown a little and felt chained by her hand so tightly holding mine. I found it annoying, really annoying. Those golden eyes grew really dark – stupid to say, perhaps, but it was true. And I felt intimidated by them, which sounds even stupider.
I didn’t want to be here anymore. I just wanted to go home. (Mom, dad – no time for crying Quinn! Stop it!)
My heart started to beat faster. Damn it, why wasn’t she doing anything yet? But that was the trick, wasn’t it? She’s provoking me to do something and then she’ll do the things she wants to do to me? Was that a devilish grin on her face? Or am I imagining—QUINN STOP ACTING LIKE THOSE IDIOTS FROM THE MOVIES!
Damn it! Why is everyone here so mad? Why can’t there be just one person that is just damn straight about everything?
Why is everybody misleading and making me feel scared?
Why am I even thinking about all of this? I got no time to be whining!
But even more of those nasty, annoying thoughts kept entering my head – a river flowing way too fast (o now I can come up with a fitting metaphor!), crushing the dams that were my rational, calm being (O she keeps going – it’s all flowing out now, huh).
It all stopped as soon as I heard a knock on the door and a gruff voice saying: “Oi! Singer! You gon’ attend the Chakra Dance or no?
“Prince’s sayin’ you can’t say no, but you gotta stop messin’ with ah…you know who! Why am I even botherin’ tellin’ ya all this – just get yo ass over to Guna Plaza!”
He thumped away and as soon as his footsteps faded away, Lullaby got up and went to chest against the wall, pulling out clothes and bags. She went through a door to another room, went out and went in another – in the meantime, I did nothing, too scared to say anything.
Her eyes were so dark. So freaking dark. She looked ready to kill someone, just by staring them down with those eyes.
It felt as if her transformation was now definite – you could actually see it.
Her hair a raging, aggressive sea, now more violent than ever.
Her skin whiter than before, as if she pulled all her muscles tight.
Her lips tightly pressed together.
It made me want to cower in fear – no! Why would it? Don’t deny the thought, Quinn – negative thoughts are just thoughts. I’ve got to stay calm and find a way out.
But what the fucking hell was up with this girl? What did she want? What was she going to do?
What was she going to do with me?
And what was I going to do?
You’re going to get up. You’re going to get yourself through that door and run.
Don’t get involved in a mad one’s problems.
She was so busy with what she was doing that I could carefully get up and quietly get to the other side of the room. My eyes were constantly looking out for her – if she noticed me, I’d be doomed.
But I reached the door. I could see the doorknob nearing, my hands around it, turning it—
“That would be unwise, Quinn.”
A shock went through my body. I stood there, hand on the door knob, ready to run, paralyzed.
She noticed me. I was doomed.
Well, at least I knew what was going to happen next. It was obvious – so obvious, in fact, that it could not not be true.
I was going to die a second time.
“You will if you go through that door now.”
My hand around the knob grew tighter, but I didn’t turn it. And man – how I wanted to run away from this mind-reading freak. I just wanted to be away, far away from freaks like her. Please don’t comment on that.
Please don’t hurt me.
“Quinn, look at me.”
I started to shake and shiver – my hand on the doorknob grew tighter and tighter, I half-turned it, my other hand turned into a fist, my vision blurred – I started to cry. Again.
And I fell to my knees. There she embraced me again, her head resting on my back, shushing my baby-like crying.
“Quinn,” she said it as if she sang it to me, a lullaby to put me to sleep. “Quinn,” she whispered, but I could hear her everywhere, soothing the pain, the frustration, everything inside of me, “never forget that you’re beautiful.”
I was still crying and she slowly rocked me back and forth. “But this world will feel intimidated by that beauty. They will try to abuse it.
“This world has gone mad, Quinn. It has been distorted since its birth. Nothing in here is real or unreal. Nothing true or untrue. One thing can be two things in this world, Quinn. It can even be nothing at all.”
“Quinn,” she said more carefully. Her hands cupped my face and her thumbs wiped away my tears.
“Are you going to face this world with me?”
I stopped crying and looked straight into her eyes.
She was dead-serious and she wasn’t asking a question.
Ooh - I smell an adventure! Hopefully that'll clear up a lot of this madness. Why is this world mad and why is Quinn's beauty so special and intimidating? Why isn't Lullaby mad? Does she want to save that world or something? And who is that prince - is that or evildoer?
Hmm... Well, let's find out in the next chapter!
See you on the next page! <3
[PIC ORIGIN: pinterest.com , made by Antonae Palmer]